Dissolved Girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa8gYL_SC9o

Because of a variety of things (not going to bed early, drinking the whole bottle of organic red, waking up several times during the night to blow my nose) I felt like complete crap when I crawled out of bed for the second time this morning. I had gotten up around 7:30, had a cuppa and then gone back to bed in the dim hope that I might go back to sleep. No chance. I have gotten some errands done today despite my exhaustion. I posted the Rowan magazine that I was sent incorrectly (the seller mixed up my 41 with someone else's 40), taken my boots to the shoe repair guy just off Enmore Rd (they need enlarging due to my fat ankles) and bought some fruit and elderflower from Alfalfa. If the I shoe repair guy turns out to be decent (certainly he wasn't expensive) then I have quite a few other pairs that need mending. I'm funny about shoes (like most women) I prefer an old fashioned look, either flat or with low, chunky heels. Otherwise I buy school shoes from the kids section of Kmart, always Mary Janes of some type. Which means that I go through a lot of cheap school shoes and have a lot of trouble finding decently made, quirky shoes. Hence the keeping of them complete with wholes, in the hope of finding a decent cobbler.

( ZM )
I bought a minimal amount of groceries and came home and did some cleaning. But due to the aforementioned tiredness I lay down for a nap around 3pm. Waking a little over 2 hours later I heard the faint trilling of a cat. Then Punkmother rang and we had a long chat about the latest illnesses of the children (chicken pox, a cold), assorted craft projects, recipes and gardening. By the time we'd finished talking there was the watching of Gardening Australia and making the bed. And of course, Dr Who (tonight's episode was "42"). During Dr Who, the Maddy cat came inside (I suspect it was her trilling I heard earlier. So for a little while I had a cat, rubbing herself against me and climbing over my ripple rug.

After that I decided to watch "Great Australian Albums" because they were featuring The Triffids and "Born Sandy Devotional". I know there is at least one Triffids fan on my flist so I do recommend this if you can get hold if it. I found it poignant in a lot of ways, knowing that Dave died in 1999. It was also a shock to see Steve Kilbey with a grey streaked beard. But then I guess it is always a shock to realise that you and your peers are no longer 20. It is still a shock to see He with close cropped grey hair and beard, when in my mind he looks eternally like David Sylvian circa early 80's (see icon).

I think I might watch "Dogs in Space".

( Thoughts about CreepUpstairs )

I should be kept away forcefully from the Video Ezy shop when they are having an x-rental sale, for I am now the proud owner of Whale Rider. And I still haven’t watched the other movies I bought before.
Other than that I have very little to say. There are some interesting issues brewing at F*cked Int (as always) but I'll save those for a friends locked post.

Who in their right mind would steal an alligator called Mr Cranky Pants?

I just had a narrow escape from karaoke
"But it's your birthday treat, it's the Asian way!"
"Sorry guys, on this issue i am resolutely Caucasian"

flees into cab......

I love the_larch she sent me the coolest postcard EVER!

It’s official, I’m old. I had to nap whilst I was away. Nap! I am not nap enabled, I nap only when chronically ill or exhausted, I do not have “a little lie down” after a quiet country drive and a spot of shopping in the lovely town of Bangalow.
But I did, I napped! Although it was a seriously disjointed nap because I was on one of the couches in the apartment at Lennox Head and when I sleep on my back I snore. But because I am the lightest sleeper in the entire world the sound of my own snoring wakes me up.
Still, I napped!

Lennox Head was beautiful, lovely clear summery days and not too hot at night. The apartment at the Resort was huge, twice the size of my own flat, and with a fully equipped kitchen, DVD/VCR player and sound system. Not to mention the spa on the massive balcony that looked out over to the sea. It’s the sea I blame for the naps, the constant white noise of the waves crashing down and all that ozone.
Or it could be age..

( The previous five days went like this )

I'm leaving work in an hour to finish the packing (gotta put the toothbrush in) and go to the air port. Won't be online till I get Monday night so don't anyone go doing anything exciting while I'm gone!

I tested the cheap digital camera last night and even with new batteries it did nothing. Probably dead. Might buy a cheap one while I'm gone as yet another birthday present. After the response to last nights upload of scary Sidhe pics I feel duty bound to inflict frightening shots of me in a spa.........

Jessie the little darling brought me in birthday cake and I've had phone calls and even an email from my long lost darling Halo (check in more often petal).


Lennox Head beach - here I come!

So last night I abandoned my usual hermit lifestyle and went out to meet someone from Diaryland. And it was good…
Dear Boof was as funny and sweet as I thought she would be and the show was great for the most part. I found the Japanese tour guide/air hostess skits a little uncomfortable, I guess I have too many Asian friends and workmates to find much humour in they way they may pronounce English. Other than that though, I was well amused and Boof’s friend in drag as a Latin Lothario was deeply sexy. So sexy in fact I had some very explicit dreams mostly involving the cast of The L Word. Mmm, sexy drag kings…
And thanks again to Boof for the flowers, they are lovely and I put them in water as soon as I got home.
I’m exhausted today though, a combination of an unusual late night and the vivid dreams. I’m such an old baggage now that my body can’t cope with any change to my mid week sleeping routine. Still glad I went out anyway.

My flat is a complete disaster area, partly because Diva insists on bolting her breakfast of expensive dry bits and then barfing them all over the carpet. Partly because I spent Monday night making Mum’s gardening pants and not doing a spot of tidying. And I’ve dropped things and generally not had time to clean up. I’m only half packed and flying out to Brisbane tomorrow evening. I’m never not fully packed the weekend before I go anywhere, so this has me somewhat panicky. I can’t find anything I really want to wear whilst I am away, and I suspect it’s going to be hot. Mostly though, I just want to get away from work. I’ve signed up with photobucket so if I remember to take my cheap digital camera with me I might be inflicting photos on the Flist.

Had a lovely long lunch yesterday at Doyle’s on the Wharf. We three snuck out separately and returned separately, not giving any information as to our whereabouts to either the nice receptionists or Wanker!Manager. I had calls transferred to me and there were only 2 in three hours. My main course was an incredibly tasty mussels in white wine and cream, into which I dipped far too much of the forbidden white bread.

( F*cked Int )

And just who is/are the cheeky darling/s who bought me things from my Amazon wish list?
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it!!

( Twat - John Cooper Clarke )

I just went to buy some sushi for lunch and Video Ezy were having an ex-rental sale.

I'm now the proud owner of
Pretty in Pink (loved that movie SO MUCH)
Chicago
Secretary

Haven't seen the last two but from reviews I think I will enjoy them.

Clearly, the spending bug has bitten.

2 days of my 30's left...........

OH................MY..........................GOD

The Kylie Doll

I MUST have her! Any of my UK Flist know where she can be found?

Is it completely wrong of me to be loving the fact that I had to ask the wanker office manager of our serviced offices for written proof that the equipment he has provided confirms to the ergonomics standards set by Standards Australia?

Every time I walk past him I can see him squirming. I'll bet he bought the cheapest office equipment he could find, this is a man who brought in secondhand cutlery and crockery because he was too mean to purchase new.

He may have gotten away with refusing to provide natural spring water (we have to get cold water out of the tap and chill it), decent tea and coffee and biscuits, but he can't get away with not conforming to the Occupational Health and Safety standards set by Workcover.
Not now I've gotten the ball rolling. The law is the law.

Plus, as soon as the bigwigs at F*cked Int discover that the FI could be legally liable for any injuries caused by his (probably) cheap ass dodgy equipment, they'll be forcing him to cough up for part of the ergonomics assessment.

Ah, fun times ahead for the wanker and me.......

What was that about karma?

I was going through my old Diaryland diary looking for entries in which she featured. Reading them i realised just how much she had changed with the diabetes. She really was old and sick and I'd convinced myself she'd get better.
These entries probably won't interest anyone but me, but I want to keep them.

( Cat stories )

You don't need a lot of cat food when the only cat you have doesn't eat much. Wiggy could wolf down a whole can and beg for more. Diva just takes ladylike nibbles.

The house is about as spotlessly clean as I can manage. I even used that little nozzle thing for the vacuum cleaner. I vacuumed under and behind things, which is unusual for me. I did very little last week.

I found a snippet of Wiggy's fur; cut from her paw where the needle went in, I put it in my locket. I feel more resigned and calmer now; hopefully the spontaneous hysterical weeping has gone forever. I felt vaguely as though I should apologise for being so distraught, but I won't. That cat had more personality and genuine love than many a human. She was gentle (Diva always scratches me when she wants a cuddle, Wiggy rarely did), clever and fun to have around. I'd be happy if people could say that of me when I am gone. I think mum wants to buy me a Burmese kitten, but not right now.

My hand still hurts, but then I probably shouldn't be knitting. I need the distraction though, and it calms me.

Two weeks till I go away. I really need a break.

Even though I have been sleeping a lot, even over sleeping some mornings, I still have black circles around my eyes.

I keep dreaming of Spike from Buffy. Dreaming of fictional, or famous real life people, isn't unusual for me, but Spike has filled my dreams for the past week, starting last Friday night. The theme is always the same, I'm surrounded by hateful, horrible people and Spike is protecting me, either verbally or physically. Doesn't take much to analyse that. In my dreams he loves me dearly.

Clearly my subconscious is pining for someone strong to take care of me, love me, protect me.

Hardly surprising I should dream now of something I've never had and never will.

The Diva cat really isn't much company. She's neurotic and skittery. I keep seeing Wiggy out of the corner of my eye.

Today is not such a bad day. Maybe tomorrow will be better...........

Yesterday wasn't so bad, but today.........
Well, today isn't good. Went to bed crying, woke up crying.
Just have to live through it till the pain lessens.

I was all prepared to do it. But the waiting got me down. Waiting for the doctor, then half an hour waiting for a bus.I called a cab and cuddled her and she wrapped herself into my arms and purred and then I put her in her box.

And then I waited and waited and while I waited she shat in the box and I just couldn't bear it. Almost an hour had passed since I'd called the cab. So I cancelled it and called the vet nurse and booked them in for Monday.

Because then she can be with me at home and she wont be scared in her box. And now I know for sure that she really is losing the plot and it's time for her to go.

But at least I get a few more days with her, and she can go to sleep peacefully in my arms at home.

I just wasn't ready for it to be today, it was too much of a rush, too much of a shock.

Thanks to everyone, I cannot tell you all how much your words of support have meant.

Why is it that just when you think things are fairly well awful, they get worse?

Trish, the head of the owners council rang me today, and there have been more complaints about the mess that Wiggy leaves in the backyard. I usually clean up her poo every day, but with the RSI, havent been so regular. And i know it brings flies and smells bad. Poor Trish, she was so worried about my reaction but how could I be anything other than reasonable? I hate the mess and smell as much as anyone. More so, because it's closer to me. I agreed to try and keep up the daily cleaning, but that's so difficult, especially at the moment. I've been hating it, hating that as soon as I clean she's right back out there again. There just isn't room to keep litter in the house, and even when I pulled all the fittings out of the bathroom and put litter in there, she used 8 kilos a day. I can't afford the $80+ a week of litter that that would mean.
I rang the Cat Protection Society in hope that I could place her with their adoption centre, but she's too old and unhealthy. The woman told me I should get her euthenaised now.

I love that cat so very much, she's so loving and sweet and intelligent. But it's all just too much stress, worrying that if I miss a day of poo collection I'll get more calls from Trish (who has her own problems, her husband is very unwell). I don't want to upset my neighbours.

I just don't know what to do. Or rather I do, but the thought is heart breaking.

Why yes, I could manage that

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